I am so excited school is out for the summer. I have so many things planned, but mostly it is planning for next year! I hope to get my autism endorsement this year with just my classroom experience. I won't have to finish the classes I started to get it and that will take so much stress off of my day to day work.
Home life is great, Billy is home for the summer *keep your fingers crossed* Bethanie has started drum lessons to go with the drum set we have in our game/music room. UGH! I am just grateful I can take my hearing aids out! LOL.
Branch is still in guitar and is looking forward to working for A+ Marine this summer again. I am looking forward to getting to sleep in some of the time and and playing with my kids, dogie and hubby! :) I am starting to feel happy again, but always there is sadness in there.
Every day I wake up thinking of mom. It was really neat that I woke up this morning while dreaming about being in the middle of a conversation with my mom. When I woke up my first thought was, I need to call mom so we can finish our conversation, then I really "woke up" and was sad. I miss my mom, as time goes on some things are actually harder, I really can't go see her, and I really can't talk to her, and I really can't hug her, and I really can't feel her hand on my cheek as she always did. I know she is always with me, but I just miss her, and I can't help feeling, will it ever get better? Will it always hurt this much to think about her? Will I ever stop crying?
Well, this went from a happy post to a sad post. It seems that is my life right now, I am either really up or really down, most of the time I am in between and that is good. I am trying to regain the steady laid back person I usually am. I know it will take time.
REVISITING words of the year...
I just want to LIVE!!! I want to CREATE!!! and I want to APPRECIATE all that I am and have in my life. This year's word is CREATE and I do not feel I have been all that creative but I have hope and know that it will change. Right now I am trying to CREATE a new me. More to come on that later! :) I also want to create beautiful things for my home and my classroom.
BP ruined part of my summer, but there is an alternate plan. I had planned on being at the beach a lot this summer, drop Branch off at work and to the beach I was going...well, now that has been changed by tar balls and oil. We have joined a gym that has 2 pools. I am excited about swimming but sad it is not in the Gulf. :( My beautiful beach. The saddest thing I have seen so far happened on my way to work yesterday morning. I saw a Pelican that was half dirty. It was not sick yet, it was still mobile, but it won't be much longer before it gets really sick and can't move that makes me sad. Those beautiful regal birds that look like they belong in a pre-historic time are going to be so hurt by the oil. I am saddened by the destruction the oil is going to cause all of us. How many things are going to be lost forever, maybe our innocence is gone now?
Good Night, remember life is still good. We have who we love and they love us.